I started blogging while I was still in treatment for my eating disorder. Blogging and writing down my experience helped me navigate through the complicated journey that is recovery. It helped me learn to separate ED thoughts from my own, find my voice in recovery, and document my struggles as well as my triumphs. It … Continue reading Saying Goodbye (At Least For Now)
Around a month ago I made the decision to no longer work with my (now former) dietitian. I made a lot of progress working with her and I am eternally grateful for her help. When we met I was in a very deep relapse and with her assistance, I got to the point I am … Continue reading Mindful Meal Group – Week One
Body trust. When it comes to an eating disorder and recovery these two words do not often go together. Instead, the body feels like an enemy and the idea of trusting it feels ridiculous. In my own journey, I have often felt very distrustful of my body, not having faith in its ability to self … Continue reading Body Trust, Intuitive Eating, and Toddlers(?)
My eating disorder told me I would feel beautiful if I lost the weight. It told me I would feel beautiful if I worked my body to exhaustion. It told me I would feel beautiful if I denied myself all sorts of foods it labeled as forbidden. It told me I would feel beautiful if … Continue reading Beauty Beyond ED
I am not going to tell you that it gets better (even though it does and it will) because it is not going to serve you. I have heard these words so many times, and when you are deep inside hopeless feelings, they do not do much of anything. In my experience, being told those … Continue reading I’m Not Going To Tell You “It Gets Better” (But It Will)
February 26th, 2018 marks the beginning of National Eating Disorders Awareness Week. The week is designed to create awareness, conversation, and advocacy for the treatment and prevention of eating disorders. However, the other day I was scrolling through Instagram and came across a comment that called NEDA Week "the most triggering week of the year." My heart … Continue reading NEDA Week – The Problematic Nature of Before and After’s
As you read this, I am most likely on my way to Universal Orlando Resort to celebrate my 24th birthday at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter! I am writing this post early so I can post it on my actual birthday. My parents got me tickets as a combined Christmas/birthday gift, and I could not … Continue reading 24!
One year ago I called my therapist and made one of the most important decisions of my life. At the time, I was the lowest weight I had been in years, physically and emotionally exhausted beyond belief, and slipping further into anorexia with each passing day. Therapy sessions were full of tears, arguments over how much … Continue reading One Year Later
Dear eating disorder, It's been a while since the two of us talked. Most days you are tucked in the way back of my head, and I barely hear your voice above more than a whisper. You stay there, waiting, and hoping that we will become friends again. You try to lure me in and … Continue reading Dear Eating Disorder,
Recovery is defined in the dictionary as, "a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength." With a broken arm, recovery means resetting the bones into place, getting a cast, and letting the arm heal. With an eating disorder, it means stopping behaviors, potential weight management in one way or another, and regaining … Continue reading What Does Recovery Really Mean For Depression and Anxiety?