Thoughts and Things

It has been a bit of time since I have written anything. I have just been sort of taking some time away from writing on this blog and doing other things to help support myself. I was so overwhelmed by all the stress of last week, and I needed a break from a lot of stuff in my life. I separated myself from doing things that I was not required to do and spent time trying to lower the feeling that I was drowning in everything.

I am a few weeks into doing my assistant teaching volunteer work with the middle school students. It is such a blast to my working with these kids. They are silly, hyper, all over the place, working through discovering themselves more and a ton of fun. Currently, we are working on helping them learn to cook. Last Thursday we had them cook stir fry to further work on their knife skills. Overall, they did such a fantastic job 🙂 and I was proud of their work. I typically walk around to each group and check in with them on how things are going. They asked me questions about things like knowing when the veggies and chicken were cooked enough, what to add to their seasonings to make it to their liking if it was not quite right, etc. Of course…they are not always good listeners, so sometimes I have to remind them of things we discussed previously at the beginning of class.

I was not actually supposed to be there on Thursday. It is usually the day where I see AAC for my 2nd therapy session of the week. She had to cancel, so I headed over to school instead. It was awesome when a boy in my class said “yay!” when I surprised them by being there. He is a very sweet kid, and it was so nice to see his excitement at me being there. That felt so good and lifted my self-esteem for that day. There are also two girls in my class who are a lot of fun, and I love talking to them. Plus, they listen well and are very responsible about doing what they need to do..gotta love those kids 😛 😉

Recovery wise, things got so much harder at first with not using ED behaviors, and things felt so awful. However, I have been pushing myself more because of how badly I want to stay working with AAC in outpatient. I do not want to go back to a higher level of care. I am starting to make slow progress towards eating more. Tomorrow, I see BC again, and it is going to be so great to talk things over with her as far as my meal plan and things. I also see AAC tomorrow for therapy, and I am so relieved. It has been a week since I saw her and I have not been going a full week without meeting with her since I left inpatient. Her support is something I really need right now because I am still struggling quite a bit.

April is swiftly approaching. That is fairly scary for me, and I am having a hard time facing it. It is a hard month for me because of some PTSD stuff, and I am struggling with heightened symptoms. My sleep has not been great, and lack of sleep really affects my overall ability to function. I am stressed out and overwhelmed. Basically, PTSD is a complete b**** and I am so over it. I will talk it out with AAC and my support group girls to get help and love to carry on.

This post has been sort of all over the place…and craziness. Oh, and I got my stitches out! Yessss!! It is the best to finally be free of them. So, there is my news of my current stuff going on. I am going to likely be writing more and getting back to enjoying blogging again.


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